It can be hard to know what to do when someone dies, as many of us likely have relatively limited operational experience in this area. And planning a funeral is no small task. This is where checklist funeral planning can ease the process a bit. Funerals can be held in a variety of places and formats, and decisions must be made about the the type of funeral that would honour your loved ones final wishes. A church funeral is one such option, so let’s dive in and explore 12 things to consider when planning a funeral at church!
General notes
When planning any funeral, it’s important to know that you don’t have to do this alone. Ask a sibling, relative, or close friend to help you. Or all of the above! Know that there are a lot of details to manage, and if you are grieving, this could be a very difficult time and it might be hard to focus. But remember… success in all things requires attention to detail, so get help.
And don’t be shy to ask as many questions as you want because, guess what? When the funeral goes well, people will point to you as the reason for the success. If you don’t pay attention to details and it doesn’t go well… it’s not the end of the world, but I know you want to do your best.
So let’s get into it!
Arranging a funeral in a church involves several considerations. Your church funeral planning checklist should include these 12 items.
1. Church funeral planning checklist: Contact the church

Reach out to the church you wish to hold the funeral in. They can provide you with information on availability, any specific requirements or guidelines they have for funerals, and any associated costs.
2. Church funeral planning checklist: Schedule

Coordinate with the church to determine an appropriate date and time for the funeral service. Note that there may be other events and services already on the church calendar that will have to be considered, so be prepared for this discussion, and know that you may need to be a bit flexible with the timing of the service. And don’t forget that the timing of the church service needs to align with any funeral home services that you might be using. For example, if the funeral home will be supporting you with a hearse and movement of the body from the church to the burial ground, this timing will all need to be coordinated. Reach out to your funeral home director for help with this, and find out if they would be able to manage finalizing the coordination details with the church.
3. Church funeral planning checklist: Confirm who will lead the service

The church may provide an officiant for the service, such as a minister, priest, pastor, or other religious figure. But should you have someone specific in mind to lead the service, discuss this with the church. They may or may not be open to changes in this role, with some churches being open to a shared leadership role. If this is important to you, ask.
4. Church funeral planning checklist: Know the religious customs

Different religions have varying customs and rituals surrounding funerals. This is also true for the different denominations within religions. For example, some Christian traditions incorporate the use of a pall (the special cloth that is laid over the coffin) in their service, and this is an important piece of the service. Others do not. Be sure to ask about the nuances of the service, if you aren’t familiar, so that you can plan accordingly. This is not the time for ‘winging it’.
5. Church funeral planning checklist: Decide on the music and readings

Decide on any music or readings you’d like to include in the service. The church may have guidelines or suggestions for appropriate selections, so do ask if this is outside of your experience. Pay special attention here, as the music and the readings will really set the tone for the experience.
An important consideration: Be sure to ask how the church plans to manage the music. Will the church provide the music? Is there a church choir, organist, or other available musician? If yes, is there a fee? Are you able to make requests, or is there a set list of music for funerals?
If you provide the music, does it need to be a recording or can it be a live singer? Will there be an experienced person on site to manage audiovisuals? Or will it just be Brother or Sister So- and- So who’s willing to take the day off to come (bless them), but has no knowledge beyond turning the system on and off?? Can the service be live-streamed for those who can’t come in person? Will there be an experienced person on site to manage this during the service? Will this be advertised on the church’s social media? This information is critical and the smooth roll out of your service depends upon being informed. So ask the questions.
6. Church funeral planning checklist: Florals and decorations

Check with the church regarding any restrictions on decorations or floral arrangements, as some churches have guidelines to follow regarding decor. And ask about the various spaces in the church that would benefit from some florals. Will there be a table in the foyer with the programs and a guest book, or other funeral accompaniments such as bookmarks? Is it a big table? Should you order florals for it? How large is the area at the front of the church? Does the area where people will be speaking need florals? Do people often use the pew ends as an area for decoration? Is there a sitting room for parents or those who need quiet space? Would that space benefit from florals?
It’s very easy to spend a lot of money on floral arrangements. As in, incredibly easy. Depending on your budget, you’ll need to know what areas you feel must be enhanced, and those that could be enhanced but are not an absolute must, and then plan accordingly.
Considerations: if you are responsible for planning the funeral and don’t live locally, you may find yourself in a situation where you’ll need to rely on the floral service provider and packages available through the funeral home. The offferings are beautiful and come at at premium. But, like a small jar of mayonnaise that you need for a picnic, the convenience comes with a price tag. But sometimes, friends, that’s just what it is. So pay up.
If you’re holding the funeral locally, check in with a local florist shop to compare pricing for suitable floral arrangements.
And if you’re creative and competent with making floral arrangements – or have a friend who is – it may be worth considering DIY arrangements for at least some areas of the church. Consider ordering market- or growers- bunches from a local floral wholesaler, or picking up some bunches in a big box store, some flower food (the little white packets that are always included with floral arrangements), coordinating ribbon, and appropriate vases. With these supplies and a little know-how, arranging them yourself can save you a significant amount of money.

Top tip: if you do go the DIY route, don’t be afraid to check local thrift shops for appropriate clear glass vases. They’re always available, well priced, and will absolutely serve the purpose. This is a job to give a willing friend. They want to help, so let them.
7. Church funeral planning checklist: Seating and facilities

Consider the size of the church and the number of attendees expected. Ensure there’s ample seating and facilities for guests.
And a little something to note: if the funeral is being held during the week and the church is not normally in use during that time, ask about the expected building temperature during your event. In summer, you’ll want to ensure that the air conditioning has been running at a comfortable temperature well in advance of the service, so as to ensure the area is comfortable. The same is true in the winter with the heating. Don’t take this for granted. Ask. You want your guests to be as comfortable as possible, so they can focus on the service.
8. Church funeral planning checklist: Parking and accessibility issues

Inform guests about parking arrangements and any accessibility issues the church may have. Learn about the protocols for providing access to those with various needs. Is there an elevator or a lift? Is a key required to operate it? Will someone be on site who is dedicated to ensuring timely access for those who need to use it? Is there a space that can be used as a quiet room for those with sensory issues or who feel overwhelmed during the service? Will there be a first aider on hand or should you arrange for one? It’s important to meet the needs of all of your guests, in as much as possible. Ask.
9. Church funeral planning checklist: Prepare the funeral program

Develop a program outlining the order of service, including any hymns, readings, prayers, or special tributes. It can be helpful to discuss these arrangements with close family members and friends, to be sure you’re crafting a service that meets the needs. Take some time to think about people who were special in the life of your loved one: think special work mates, family members who represent the various branches of the family tree, someone from a cherished charitable organization where they donated their time… This is their opportunity to contribute.
The actual printing of the program will likely be managed by the funeral home, if you’re working with one. There may be a range of program covers to choose from as part of whatever package you have selected.
But if this is something that you’ll be doing on your own, allow me to suggest that you ask a young family member or friend to manage this for you. I highlight the young people here, as they’ve grown up as native users of this technology and use it regularly for school and personal projects. For them, it is like breathing. So tell them what you want, and they will crank it out for you with speed and precision. And then send it your local print shop for quality printing. Done.
10. Church funeral planning checklist: Plan the reception

Listen, when you bring people together, you know you’ve got to feed them. And keep in mind that some attendees will likely be from out of town and may need to travel back after the funeral. So send them off with something in their bellies. It can be as as informal or as formal as you’d like, from a light coffee/tea and nibbles reception, to a buffet, to a sit down meal… it’s up to you and the budget. Whatever you’re planning to do, you’ll need to discuss it with the church to determine if there is any suitable space available. If not, you’ll need to arrange for a separate venue. This is an important consideration for scheduling the event, so be sure to make a decision on this early in the planning.
11. Church funeral planning checklist: Etiquette
Familiarize yourself with the proper etiquette for a church funeral, including appropriate attire and behavior during the service. If you are a member of this church, you will likely have a sense of what is expected for a funeral being held there. So go with what is appropriate and comfortable. If you aren’t a church member nor part of that faith tradition but your loved one was, ask what’s expected and be prepared to respect the direction given. This place was important to your loved one… what would they want you to do?
Important consideration: Ask if you’re able to indicate a dress code for the service that’s in alignment with the lifestyle of the deceased. Did they love a certain colour? Were they fans of a certain style of period dress? As the convenor, you have the flexibility to invite family and friends to wear this type of clothing, keeping in mind the cultural norms of the church, of course. It’s another way to pay tribute and can be done with great success.
And let me add this nugget: Whatever you wear, I encourage you to think about layers. You aren’t going to be the person who shows up and sits down. Not this time. Au contraire, you’re running things and may be the point person for funeral home staff, caterer, church personnel; in addition to greeting family and friends you haven’t seen in a long time, and meeting new people. It’s a big day. So keep in mind that emotions that are running high can cause you to physically feel different than you normally would, or the church might not be at the right temperature for you on that day. At the very least, someone else might need that cute cardigan that you brought but could manage without. Layers are always a good idea.
12. Church funeral planning checklist: Emergency kit
Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but you can never go wrong with being prepared for the unexpected. And between the emotions, running around to make sure everything happens as it should, and life in general… one needs to be prepared.
A few items for your consideration include:
- Safety pins – handy for managing an unexpectedly torn piece of clothing.
- Thimble – listen, this one may seem odd, but trust me on this one. If it has been determined that corsages will be worn by the family, they will need to be pinned on using massive pins. Trust me when I tell you it is awkward and challenging, and the risk of ramming that pin straight into your finger is high. Learn from me, friend: bring a thimble, save yourself.
- Tiny sewing kit – this can be as minimal as a needle pre-threaded with dark thread, in the case of wardrobe malfunction. If a needed button falls off, you’ll be glad you brought it.
- Gum – freshness is needed as you may be talking with a lot of people. It can also be used to amuse and placate young children and to distract the mildly anxious.
- Candy/breath mints – sometimes a small piece of candy is enough to revive someone when they are feeling a bit out of sorts or faint. It can also give an upset child something to concentrate on.
- Bottle of water
- Tissues – emotions, tears. If not for you, bring them for someone sitting near you.
- TUMS or something easily consumed to soothe an upset stomach – emotions plus catered food can sometimes lead to challenges.
- Pain medication – in case you develop a headache.
- Allergy medication if relevant – even for occasional allergies/hay fever. This is not the time for needless suffering.
- Pen – always good to have.
- Small pad or a folded piece of paper – you might need to write down contact information or directions for someone who doesn’t have a smart phone. Remember, funerals often have attendees of a wide age range, and many of our friends who are older Canadians are not avid smart phone users.
- Bandaids, just 3 or 4 – you don’t want to have to go looking for one if you cut yourself in some random way.
- Dental floss and/or toothbrush and toothpaste- sometimes things get stuck after eating. You want to be able to take care of it.
12. Church funeral planning checklist: Donations and Memorials
Determine if the church has any preferred format for memorial donations or acknowledgments. This is an opportunity to direct giving towards an organization that was special to your loved one. If you’re not sure which organization would be best, ask a close family member or the best friend of the deceased. Or simply think about the way this person lived their life, and identify an organization that is in alignment with those values.
Summary
What not to forget when planning a funeral? All of the above, friends, all of the above. Giving consideration to the 12 items on this funeral planning checklist will support you in managing a funeral even if you’ve never attended one before. Go through each area carefully before making a decision or ruling it out.
Know that you don’t have to be planning a funeral in the immediate future to find this information useful. It’s worth going over and thinking about if you are in the age group where funeral planning for parents and elders becomes increasingly possible and likely (I’m talking to you, my 50+ tribe. It’s likely just a matter of time, if we’re being realistic… yes?). So go through the 12 areas of funeral planning and start giving them some thought.
And if you’re ready to take it on, the funeral planning checklist can also be used to jumpstart discussions with your family about your own funeral. Because one day, it will be required, that is a certainty. So why not take some time to start thinking about what you might want and write it down or, at the very least, communicating it to family members. Don’t leave them guessing.
And finally, just a reminder that events where we gather people together are worthy of our detailed consideration and efforts. Sometimes you do have to sweat the small stuff, and this is one of those times. So get help, stay focused, breathe, and do your best. You’ve got this!